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Pride flags

I love the explosion in pride flags. I love it.

Yes, the original Rainbow Pride Flag is here for us all, but I think it’s wonderful that people are putting such specific, creative wordsmithing into naming their experience, and that they’re also celebrating our diversity and insisting on wonderful, colorful plurality. It’s inspiring, honestly. It also confuses me when people are like “you just wanna feels special,” or “you’re just making stuff up, now.” Buddy – I’ve got bad news for you about…words. And language. And pretty much 95% of human culture. Things mean what we decide they mean! And to me, it’s so refreshing to see queer people making so many bold, bright, beautiful declarations of who they are. There is a reason the rainbow was the choice for our community – each color represents a different aspect of begin gay, but it also emphasizes that there’s so many ways to be gay, and that we must always embrace and celebrate our uniqueness.

So, I decided to make a post with all the pride flags I’ve found that could apply to me! Some of them are more accurate than others, but these are all flags I’ve identified with at some point.

Can’t beat a classic!

Oh wait, you totes can. I love how this emphasizes our community’s diversity and challenges us to maintain our commitment to intersectionality and listening to the people of color in our ranks.

I identified as bisexual in college, when I was first figuring things out! I still feel fine being called bi…I just think there’s other terms that are more specific for me!

For a while I identified as polysexual, but I never really felt like it was a perfect fit, and also it seemed easily confused with polyamorous (which I also am). Finally I settled on…

IT ME! 😀

OOOoooo so pretty and sparkly! 😀

From here on in, I’ll put them under a Readmore so that your dash isn’t dominated by an epic long post!

I just found about this flag/orientation today! Omnisexual! I’m excited about it! Look how gorgeous the flag is! I’m still not clear on the difference between Pansexual and Omnisexual, I’ve seen it articulated different ways by different people…I think I’d be fine with both, tbh! Until I understand the precise distinction it’s hard for me to say which I feel closer to…but I think I’ll stick with “pan” for now, since it feels more accurate for me than bi or poly, and most people understand it.

Aces are beautiful and belong in our community! Aces are so great!

I’m a gray ace, or graysexual…this is the pride flag for that 😀

This is the original intersex flag…

And this is the new one. I LOVE IT! I never cared for the way the old flag insisted on a gender binary with its pink and blue, though the white was supposed to represent nonbinary intersex people…also it was frequently mistaken for the trans flag, and while I am intersex, I’m definitely not trans, as I was AFAB and identify as a woman. (I didn’t even find out I had an intersex condition until I was 18!) I like how unique this new design is!

Polyamory pride! 😀

Did you know that lesbians who prefer to kiss and cuddle than have sex used to be called “Bambi Lesbians?” How adorable! And how useful for the ace sapphics today! This was designed by @alouette-lulu, along with a lot of other deer pride flags! She didn’t originally intend them to be “Bambi” pride flags, but I think it works perfectly!

Here’s another design for Bambi lesbians!

…but I’m not technically a lesbian, so here’s a Perfect Bambi Pan flag! XD I ADORE these, thanks so much for sharing your art, @alouette-lulu!

The sapphic pride flag! AAAAH It’s so pretty!! Sometimes the violets are drawn, instead of being shopped in like this. Did you know that in the language of flowers, Violets were used even centuries ago to express Sapphic romance? Dreamy! ❤

The queer flag! Well….one of them. XD I love the word queer, I love how defiant it is, I love its history, I love its refusal to be simply defined, and most of all I love how nobody can agree what the queer flag is, it’s perfect!! I hope there’s always twenty different queer flags because that’s just so QUEER AND PERFECT!!

Another queer flag design!

Oooo Geometry, YAAAAS

TRUTH

The BDSM Pride Flag! I’m not as active in the community as I used to be, but it was honestly lifesaving when I was going through a difficult time, and I learned SO MUCH about who I am as a person through my time in my local kink community.

The Leather pride flag! I’ve often seen this used interchangeably with the BDSM pride flag, but Leather is actually a very specific subculture of the BDSM community with houses and discipline and apprenticeship protocols. I identify more with the first one, but see this one used more often…it still makes me happy when I see it, like I found a kindred spirit!

The Sapiosexual flag! For a brief while I identified as sapio, but I eventually realized that while intelligence is a key component in my sexual attraction, it wasn’t the most important – that’s kindness, and a sense of humor. I realized this flag actually wasn’t right for me, but it helped me on my journey!

I actually just discovered this flag in my googling for this post! I am a fat woman, and I’m learning every day how to be proud of that in a fatphobic culture. And this design is based on Neopolitan ice-cream! How cute! At first, I was really excited about it! Unfortunately, this flag is also associated with feederism, stuffing, padding, and other fat fetish, which I find disappointing. Not because I’m judging people’s kinks, but I do not participate in them – I don’t like being fetishized for my body – that doesnt make me feel “proud.” The “vanilla” stripe is supposed to represent “all BBW and BHM and the people that love them” – but I don’t like the implication that I’m “vanilla” just because I don’t participate in fat fetishism. (I’m decidedly not vanilla.) This is a very new flag, having only been designed in 2011, and I’m sad that I couldn’t find a better example for fat queer people.

So why end on that down note?

Because I’ve decided to design my own Fat Pride flag!! 😀 Defining our communities for ourselves is a quintessential part of the gay experience. I realized – why am I waiting around for someone else to do it? Be the change you want to see in the world! I’m going to try and do it justice! ❤

Thanks for reading my long post, and if you liked and reblogged, have a hug from me. I love my community, and I’m so happy Pride Month is here!

slightly invasive gay asks

I decided to do all of them 😀 If you’re in the alphabet soup and you wanna play along, consider yourself tagged.

1. what’s your gender?
I’m a cis woman, even though I’m also intersex. (I was raised female and identify that way.)

2. what are your pronouns?
She/her. I’m fine with they/them, especially from online peeps.

3. is your family accepting?
Happy to say yes, they are. They could be better on some fronts, but that’s okay. They love me and they’re trying. That’s what matters.

4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?
Don’t marry him.

5. what is your sexuality?
I’m pan and gray ace.

6. favorite color?
Blue

7. sun gay or moon gay?
Hmm…that’s a toughie. I’m probably Moon gay because I’m such an insomniac…but Sagittarius is a fire/sun sign…and I am excited about summer….hrm…maybe I’m a Twilight gay. The sun is juuuuust about to set, and in the other side of the sky, where it’s darker already, you can see the moon and a few stars. ❤

8. when did you find out your sexuality?
LOL buddy, when I figure it out I’ll let you know. There were signs even when I was a kid, but it took me forever to find a label I liked. I was basically questioning clear through college, and then settled on bi, and then pan, and then figured out I was ace, so…in five years who knows?! Basically, by senior year of high school I had serious suspicions that I was Not Straight™ and by sophmore year of college…yeah there no room for doubt anymore. X,D

9. how was your day?
OMG thank you for asking??? It was okay. I went to work….then heated up some leftovers and watched the West Wing. Nothing to write home about, but most of them are like that, when you’re an adult. “This is water,” and all.

10. do you have any gay friends?
LOL yah we tend to congregate

11. what’s your favorite hobby?
I sing and act and write fanfic 😀

12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion?
Janelle Monae. QUEEEEEEN.

13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?
The original rainbow flag has to be a fan favorite, right? And I like it with or without the pink, and I especially like the recent edit to include black/brown. As far as the aesthetic goes, I like the sapphic flag. It’s sooo pretty. The butch lesbian flag too! Also I think it’s weird and hilarious and perfectly fitting that no one can agree what the Queer flag is, there’s like, twenty different versions and that’s honestly just so queer and great. XD

14. are you openly out?
Unfortunately, you can still get fucking FIRED in this day and age for being queer, which is cruel and ridiculous and makes me so furious. So I am not out at work. I am out to my friends and out to my family. (And to my partners, obviously, when I have them.) Truthfully, you’re never 100% out, no one walks around screaming their sexuality constantly so every passerby is AWARE, you can’t inform the entire planet at once…you continually come out throughout your life based on the situation in which you find yourself. I do resent that I can’t be out at work…but I think I would resent unemployment even more Bitch gotta eat.

15. are you comfortable with yourself?
LORD no LOL. But I’m comfortable with my queerness.

16. bottom or top?
Switch. But this question overly simplifies the power flow in a sexual relationship, I find? It’s fine to get a general idea, but the answer’s always more delicious and complex.

17. femme or butch?
I define my aesthetic as “Lazy femme.” It says “I like looking womanly, but do not have the money, time, or skillset to constantly tic all the boxes of Femininity.™" In other words, I don’t shave my legs and I wear jeans and clunky comfortable shoes, but I also wear dresses and dye my hair pink, and some days I go whole hog and do my make up. So…Futch?

18. do you bind?
Nope, only for a play once. And I did it with ace bandages like a moron. Stay safe kids.

19. do you shave?
Nah. I have very light/scanty hair anyway. If I didn’t, I’m not sure if I would or not.

20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?
Drew Barrymore and Chris Evans. Both. Happy lil’ triad. (Maybe hook up occasionally with Aidy Bryant or Chris Pratt, just for funsies.) Oh! no wait! Mark Ruffalo. I bet he’s terrific in the sack. And I love his brain and his politics. WAIT Janelle Monae? Tessa Thompson AND Gal Godot…….okay being pan is difficult. -_-;

21. do you have a partner (s)?
Alas, no. 😦 I had a girlfriend for a bit, but it didn’t work out.

22. describe your partner (s)?
Tender lesbian, black, musician…insecure, can be kind of passive aggressive. I still think she’s a really cool person and we’re trying to do the friends thing.

23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?
Yup

24. anyone of another sex?
Yup

25. pastel gay or goth gay?
Goth

26. favorite dad in dream daddies?
I dunno, it seemed kinda fetishistic to me, but most dating sims do?…not passing judgment on folks who like it, it’s just not really my bag. I guess I like the design of the bear Dad.

27. tell me a random fact about yourself?
I am blowing on my nails right now so they dry. Indigo-for-it by Essie Treat Love Color, kind of a cornflower grayish blue. (See, I’ve got some femme rattling around in there).

28. do you own any pride flags/merch?
Yes! I bought them at Target last year. And I ordered some custom T-shirts for my parents and my best friend.

29. have you ever been to a pride parade?
NOOOOO AND I SO WANNA GO I think this year might be the year!

30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who is exploring themselves?
It’s okay to be questioning, you don’t need to have it all figured out yet. It’s okay to be closeted, you aren’t lying to anybody and you aren’t a bad person, some things are private. When it’s time, you’ll know. Don’t let anybody rush you, either to pick a label or to come out. Also? If you wanna say you’re [label] then go for it, there’s no registration fee, if you feel like that you are like that. And you can always change your mind later. People who say differently are called “gatekeepers” and are to be avoided. The gay experience, like all of life, is messy and complex and way too weird and wonderful to be overly simplified. You are you. Just listen to your heart, listen to your body, and trust what it’s telling you.

These Pride Bitmoji are killin’ it! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈